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A Culinary Classification System For Women

Ten Delicious Types of Gals. Part One

Part One

During my years of cooking for various types of women, both while dating and throwing dinner parties, I never attempted to classify them until now. My general theory is that my guests should bring good karma to the table and that's enough. But as a society, we are constantly judging. Remember this?

“Oh well he's very popular Ed; the sport-o's, motorheads, geeks, sluts, waistoids, bloods, dweebies, dickheads. They all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.”
--Grace, "Ferris Bueller’s Day Off"

No matter what type of girl you are dealing with, as long as you’re having fun (cooking, eating and drinking that is), then it will show. But just for fun, I've attempted to culinarily classify ten sexy kinds of gals that you might find in your kitchen (and hopefully in your bedroom) at some point in your life. Of course there are more and there are hybrids. But this should serve as a good starting point.

Urban Chic (aka Career Girl)

No stranger to power lunches and dinners, she eats it all, but only a few bites at a time. At night she wolfs down ice cream and other delights-- if she stays home that is. She is fashionable, hip and loves cool things. She has a more sophisticated palette. Take her to a trendy restaurant that plays cool music or cook her mouth watering gourmet tacos. Shoot tequila with her (make fresh margaritas) and listen to Hotel Costes.

By day she is driven and focused, pulled together and knows what she wants. So find out what she wants when cooking for her. Ask the allergy question. Make sure when you cook for her or take her out that you enjoy yourself too. (Actually, you should do this no matter what type of gal she is.) Try my "Spring Fling Menu."

The Girl Next Door
Eats meat. She is generally easily pleased and loves her family. She is a positive sweetie, always upbeat and loves what you do for her. She is a bunch of fun who can drink beer or fine Champagne, but has no real preference. When cooking for this girl you want to go the extra mile to please her because she is worth the effort. I recommend a nice salad and risotto dish for a romantic dinner or popcorn with extra virgin olive oil and beer when renting a movie. You can take her to the pub, a taco stand or a 3 star Michelin restaurant and she will be pleased, most likely just because you are around. Try the "Mediterranean Mistress Menu."

The Action-Adventure Chick
Lean proteins and smoothies rule her world as she is on the go constantly. This girl is athletic. She probably likes white fish, protein shakes and the occasional glass of red wine. She wants to conquer the world, and with you this could be a lot of fun. I suggest cooking light dishes, seared salmon, salads, and other delights. She views sex as a great work out, or possibly competition. So keep her energized guys. Try the "French Maid Fantasy Menu."

The Health Nut

She orders organic greens for dinner. She loves hemp seeds, amino acids and apple cider vinegar. She most likely is a vegetarian, so woo her with brown rice pastas and raw salads. She enjoys a few glasses of wine and lets loose as a result. She may not eat much fat and is conscious of her sugar intake. This gal can be a good influence on those of us who have too many sinful eating and drinking habits. Keep her around and she'll be good for you, your liver and your lungs. Try the "Vegetarian Vixen Menu."

The Foodie
She eats everything, but is a bit of a food snob. Watch out, because she knows a thing or two about what’s going on in the kitchen. She loves meat and seafood and the richer the food, the better. A good salmon with a micro green salad is a nice way to impress her. But make sure you practice your meal before cooking it for her. You'll want to do this for any dinner date, but the foodie views cooking as a performance, so rehearsing it many times is always best. Try my "Meat Loving Madam Menu."

Coming next week: Part Two.



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