Che F. Guevara’s pointers on selecting fresh fish.
You don’t want your date to gag because you bought stinky fish, do you? If it’s stinky, it’s no good. It should not smell like fish! However, if your fish has the sweet smell of the ocean in its fragrance, like the scent of Nantucket’s high tide on a cool summer evening, then take it.
Inspect Those Bits
If the gills are firm, moist and pink (similar to a woman's sultry lips) it qualifies as being fresh and out of clean waters.
Gaze into the Eyes
They should be crystal clear and look attentive and endearing. Crazy looking or cloudy eyed fish should not be allowed into your home, no matter how desperate you may be.
Caress the Skin Softly
It should be moist to the touch and cool.
Poke That Flesh
When pressed upon, the fish should spring back, much like when gently pinching silicone-enhanced breasts (or so I have been told).
So next time you’re out shopping for fresh fish, just remember to sniff, inspect, gaze, caress then poke. By following these simple guidelines, you’re sure to land the best piece of fish available.