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Stain Removal Tips

Take it off. Take it all off!

By Daniel Corrieri

"Oops, I'm so sorry, let me help you with your blouse." Spilling your wine on your date will probably just upset her, rather than succeed as a twisted strategy to get her to take off her shirt for you. Of course your goal is to have her take her clothes off willingly. However, sometimes spills and splatter accidents happen. If you do make a mess of yourself while cooking or eating, or you unfortunately spill something on your date, below are some helpful tips that can get you out of a potentially embarrassing situation and get those stains out too.

• Make sure you have laundry detergent and a stain remover stick on hand.

• Try and keep your coordination, so don't get really drunk when cooking for your date. Keep her glass topped off, but watch for her inebriation.

• No matter who did what, be cool. Don't freak out. Things happen that are above and beyond your control-- unless you or your date have been drinking too much of course.

• Act quickly. The longer you wait, the less likely a stain will come out.

• Read labels of your garment. Although a dry cleaner can get out most stains, don't rely 100% on them.

• Never rinse with hot water because heat can seal in stains, rather than extract them.

• Delicately blot the stain with cold water using a clean rag or napkin. Don't wipe it.

Spilled Product Quick Fix Overnight Plan (if you're lucky)
White Wine Blot with cold water. Rinse. If it stays, blot with detergent and let it sit for 5 minutes. Rinse. Soak those clothes in detergent in cold water for at least 30 minutes. That should give you enough time for some foreplay.
Red Wine Cover with a nice thick layer of salt for 5 minutes. It absorbs the stain. Rinse with cold water. Repeat. Blot with laundry detergent. Stick in a bowl with cold water for at least 30 minutes. If that doesn't work, try a spot stain remover.
Coffee Blot with cold water and rinse. Blot with water and laundry detergent. If that doesn't take out the stain, then take it to a dry cleaner.
Non-Clear Booze
(Whiskey / Scotch, Jaegar)
Blot with cold water and rinse. If you spilled your booze, you're probably well on your way to a spicy evening (one would hope.) If the alcohol stain still remains, soak in cold water with a liquid laundry detergent for 30 minutes. Rinse thoroughly.
Happy Ending Don't fix it. Smile
Beer Blot with cold water and rinse. Use a combination of a liquid detergent mixed with cold water and pour onto the beer stain. Allow the detergent to stand on the alcohol stain for at least 5 minutes.
Blood (try not to cut yourself) Must be cleaned while still wet. Clean area thoroughly with cold water and a mild detergent (Ivory Soap works well). Take to a dry cleaner.
Chocolate Blot with cold water and rinse. Soak in laundry detergent and water for 30 minutes and rinse.
Tomato Sauce Blot with cold water and rinse Rub a combo of detergent and water into the stain and rinse. Take it to a dry cleaner.
Grease or Cooking Oil Blot with cold water and rinse Try using a bit of shampoo on it and allow it to sit for a few minutes. Wash as usual, but don't put the item in the dryer. If you find that all of the stain has not come out, you can add the additional step of pre-treating the stain with laundry pretreatment products. Even if it looks like the stain is gone when wet, make sure to let the item air dry to determine if the stain has been fully removed.
Vomit Call a cab and get the hell out of dodge. Or if she gets sick, clean up the mess and act cool. She will remember this (maybe). Soak garment in cold water and laundry detergent for 30 minutes and rinse. Give her or yourself plenty of water and an aspirin. Give her a t-shirt and you take the couch if she is spending the night. Leave a bucket by her side. If this is your stain, forget a second chance.

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