Silent but violent foods to avoid…

Everyone breaks wind. It’s a fact of life. I remember a funny story about my mom (an English woman who immigrated to the states in the 60’s) who asked the local pharmacist in our very conservative town if they had pills that made your gas smell like roses. Gee, now that would be a magic trick even David Blaine couldn’t pull off. Mom wasn’t half wrong. She meant she wanted something that stopped gas.

Whether you’re out on a date or cooking for one at home, it’s common sense to not prepare dishes that have given you gas in the past. If you’re lactose intolerant you can still eat dairy, but you’ll need to take lactose pills or avoid those creamy dishes. If you don’t react well to tofu, either avoid it or swallow enzymes (Beano – Gas X) which can help your digestive system counteract the pressure build up. You may also want to avoid spicy meals, such as an Indian curry.

In addition to the food list to follow, avoid drinking beverages (such as beer from cans or bottles) from containers with small openings and do not use a straw. Also avoid chewing gum and sucking down on hard candies and lollipops. You don't want to be swallowing down air which aids in gas build up.

Below is a list of foods with a high flatulence factor, due to the fact that they contain sugars we can’t digest.

• Legumes (beans and lentils)
• Dairy
• Broccoli, brussels sprouts, cabbage, and cauliflower
• Onions, leeks, and chives.
• Pickles and sauerkraut.
• Apples, bananas, melons
• Eggs
• Carbonated beverages such as beer

Keep in mind not every person will react the same way to these foods, but better safe than sorry. When cooking for your dinner date, the only sounds you probably want to hear after the meal are uncontrollable bursts of happy screaming or words such as “yes, yes, yes” reassuring you in the bedroom.

Posted by dan on October 1, 2007 9:31 AM | Permalink